Wisdom can come from anywhere - even a Buddhist on a cell phone

"It is better to sweat from hard work than cry from laziness, which encourages poverty."

This is a Buddhist teaching that really hits home with me. Thinking about the nature of our often posh, western, first world lives I get a little touchy about people who complain about their, often, pretty great lives. I know that people can be unhappy in many situations but I do often think it is tactless to complain a lot about a job when you make lots of money or to be so picky in our gluttonous living environment. I think choice is great, I'm glad we have it, but it is really a blessing (that we should not take for granted) that we have so much easy and cheap joband good food available. We never worry about getting enough food or where it is going to come from. I guess this environment fosters that behavior, being spoiled as we are.

But that's complaining that I'm, um, complaining about. What the quote refers to is hard work and laziness. I think that somewhere along the way I decided that I wanted to be a hard worker or, at least, I wanted to be dedicated and not half-assed. I am sure there are things I'm still not up to snuff on but I think back to being a kid and one of my more persistent memories is of giving up on things too easily. I decided at one point that I didn't want to do that. I think that is why I became the type of person that I became: someone who would rather do something than pay for it or pay someone else to do it. I know people who would prefer to give me money and buy me lunch if I'll go get it. This is a perfect situation because I'd rather walk to and go get lunch, for example, than pay someone else to go get it for me. That is just an example but it applies to many parts of my life. I think it is a distinction between some people and I guess that I often think that, probably because I try to live this way, that it is better to try to do something about a problem than to a) complain about it or b) throw money at it to make it go away.

Well, that's what that quote made me think. I respect someone who tires from hard work and perhaps complains about how tired they are. I don't respect someone who defers on the work and only wants to be lazy or find some way to pay someone to do a simple task. Not something like fixing your car or plumbing. I think that complaining about earned tiredness is not complaining but maybe a cry against sloth.

This is interesting to someone who (like me) has often been "the friend"

I was reading a NYTimes article about the "Sexiness of Hybrids." The author, who loves to drive a meaty-engined mustang, was trying to find the sex appeal, so important to muscular cars, in a hybrid.

"Still, one thing nagged at me. As I headed down Fifth Avenue in the Prius on a warm, late September evening — presumably one of the last of the year where you might see short skirts and low-cut tops — I was noticing an absence of glances from women. This was rarely a problem in the Mustang.

After all, said David M. Buss, a professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of Texas in Austin, women are almost hard-wired to notice a car like the Mustang. “Men with the muscle cars and sports cars tend to be signaling that they have extravagant resources, and sufficient excess to lavish those resources on nonnecessities,” he said in an e-mail message. “These are precisely the qualities that women look for in a short-term mate — extravagant display of resources that can be devoted to them.

But that does not mean that manhood must be sacrificed in a Prius, he said. “Men driving the prudent, fuel efficient cars, in contrast, are signaling that they are not short-term mating strategies, but rather long-term mating strategies,” he added. “They are signaling dependability, reliability, conscientiousness, long-term planning and willingness to commit.”


So, of course, I thought of my past and promptly reverted to being a teenager. It's hard to change the inherent personality qualities of yourself so I'm not really going to try. I do, though, like many of my fiercely intelligent, passionate, creative male friends occasionally wince at the feeling that we're often viewed as "the friend" and not as someone who should be pounced upon. Seeing that I whole-heartedly support hybrids, and would hump the legs of those who drive them, I found myself again thinking like a teenager. "But I'm so nice and good to you. I give you hugs. I drive a hybrid. Why isn't that sexy to you?"

I am, of course, smiling as I write this. The adult in me knows better, but the teenager in me still occasionally thinks those thoughts.

Has anyone yet used this quote in reference to the presidencey of G.W. Bush?

"In politics, what begins in fear usually ends in folly."
---- Coleridge

Of contrasts, conflicting ideas, celebrating the passage of time

Although it has been only two days since Friday, it feels like worlds and oceans have passed and many of life's mysteries have passed before me.

This past Friday, shortly after arriving at work, we were called down for an impromptu company meeting at which we were told that Jay, our CEO hired in the past 6 months, had died. Jay was, I believe, 50 years old and on top of that a world class athlete. He was in great shape, a cyclist who often did hundreds of miles tours. The news and the air at work left me shocked, spaced out, sullen for most of the day and I ended up leaving early. I began to feel better only after Becca showed up so that we could watch the first 3 of the Up Series. It was good to just have someone close to me be there who I could share thoughts with and from whom I could get big hugs.

We watched the first three, and though I've seen them before I was still moved by the sheer amazement of watching someone grow up. You don't really get any sense of the series until you've watched at least 3. The first film records these kids at 7 and therefore just seems like a document of English children. The second film revisits them at 14 and you notice how much the same they look and yet how much age has accrued on their faces and bodies already. By the third film, 21, they are approaching an age I can still sort of remember and therefore relate to. They look like adults but not yet with the lines settling in that help to define the way we look and feel as we approach 30. The films continue on: 28, 35, 42 and then this year they've released 49 and I can't wait to go see it.

Here's where the contrast sets in. I'm not dreading 30 in any way because I actually feel that, in many ways, I'm aging in a pretty ok manner. While I do find some day to day life to be a little drudgery, I think that life has afforded me many exciting opportunities, wonderful friends, views of the worlds, amazing flavors and feelings. I think I've done alright so far. For any sort of "regret" type feelings about what should have been done I find that I don't actually have that much regret. Things have happened, I've played my part, I've begun to feel more like I'm making choices and not just letting the world choose for me (though that is still a major component of my life: let's see what the world offers me today and what I can choose from that). The contrast, to bring up that point once again, is that today I was reading a travel article by Jim Harrison that described a 37 course lunch in France. The lunch lasted 11 hours but began at noon and was therefore still a lunch. The article included describing the author's friend, who was organizing and hosting the lunch. This friend had once arranged a 50 course meal which he had somewhat arbitrarily chosen to do for his 50th birthday. Sure, why not 50 courses for your 50th. I began to think: why not 30 courses for my 30th. Jay died at 50 in wonderful health. You never quite know when or where and you do hope that you lived your life well and fully before that uncertain day hits. So I've begun toying with the idea.

30 courses on or about the day of my birthday. How would I do this? How much do I have to plan before April 20th? I don't picture it as a gorge fest but rather like a 10 hour party fueled by lots of great food and wine. Something like bacchanal, something like a real feast. In contrast I also wondered if I should spend time alone in the wilderness with myself and my thoughts or, perhaps, with a couple of precious friends. I think about living simply, I think about living lavishly. I think about Jay in prime health, it seemed, dying. I think about not living life in order to avoid the risks of dying. Perhaps I should do both. What would be stopping me from exploring both contrasts. Both of these ideas appeal to me. Hmmm, contrasts.

If you admitted all the funny little things you think about that make you happy (on any given day)

That might be the title of a book. Or the title of song that is longer than the song itself.

Bear with me here. Today I was enjoying the little things in any given day that make me happy. When I realized what was making me happy I had one of those moments when you stop, your eyes widen and you look into the camera because you've been caught. A moment later, though, I realized that I hadn't been caught, that I was just *thinking* about something and that I wouldn't have to explain it to anyone. Another moment later I decided to explain to someone: BLOG.

Here's the little thing that made me happy: I went into the bathroom, walked up to the urinal and saw that someone had not flushed. I had a happy little moment thinking "awesome, we're saving water by not unnecessarily flushing! If it's brown flush it down, if it's yellow let it mellow." I've become very green/earth friendly and I like finding little things to do every day to help. I turn off lights left on at work and at home, I try not to use paper towels when I wash my hands.

Anyone have any little bits of joy to share from your day? What little, potentially embarassing thing made you happy recently?

What is this, day 1 again?

I started a blog last month on my own personal website. Then I found out the limitations of that super easy to use Apple software. So now I'm using the blogospherical nation since it seems to work so well for Beth and Kevwrex (two of my favorite to read blawgs).

So here's the interesting quote and idea I found from today. A coworker sent around a bit of news about Rick Santorum which immediately made me think of santorum as coined and used by Dan Savage of Savage Love. So I went to go check out what great ole Dan Savage had to say lately (on this, a very rare not too busy day at work). He had John Cameron Mitchell along as a guest celebrity advice giver. John Cameron Mitchell is quickly becoming one of my heroes. Someone who is both meek and bold, brave but not pompous, challenging to some of the things that fundamentally make us human. Here's what he said today:

"There's weird pressure in a big city to know exactly who you are," said John Cameron Mitchell, the actor, director, and New Yorker, when we spoke on the phone about your letter. "You can wind up feeling more lonely because everyone else seems to know who they are."

Ever feel like that? I've often thought about why big cities can feel so lonely sometimes amongst the throngs of people living withing 7 square miles of you. That's one fantastic perspective. I think that pressure to know exactly who you are is absurd because knowing exactly seems to be the end of questioning, the end of personal curiosity, perhaps the end of growth. Keep wondering, keep searching.