Friday, June 29, 2007

A week so full, riding the waves up and down, happiness and sadness

This week has had some turbulence personally, physically, and within my friend group. The week has, for more, ended on an excellent up note in terms of how I feel but, again, there were some tough times out there.

First off I want to say a bit about Di Di. Her father passed away this week. We all send out a prayer to whoever we pray to for her, the Weider family, and her father's spirit and the current journey his spirit is on. Your own personal ideas of life and then death are called into question in times like these and you can explore those feelings, ideas, and also send out waves of love and support.

For some reason, probably because of a heavy drinking weekend, I was in a downright awful state at the beginning of this week. I felt uncomfortable in my skin, in San Francisco. I looked around at SF like it was a burden, like the obvious choice was to leave, start anew, reinvent. As the week has gone on, though, I found my attitude changed. This often happens when there's not enough sleep or, say, alcohol induced chemical imbalance. Things feel much better now but the thoughts and ideas of casting off the shackles of routine are alive again. In short I will say that I had always planned on my current job to be temporary, to ride it out for a little while while I got other aspects of my life in place and then I would chase those darned dreams that I keep only tasting. Several things have not gone as I thought and I got wrapped up in this routine. Now I think I'm ready for that plan, the plan to set a goal and to ultimately get outta here for awhile. Prep myself and try auditioning in NYC, L.A. and maybe end up in Chicago for theatre there, a video job, close to family. I just don't know, haven't gotten that all sorted yet. But who needs to have it ALL sorted right away? Take some chance, make a decision, and ride the wave of the river.

There are two other things I want to share. The first are these mp3s that help with polyphasic naps. You can read about polyphasic sleep here polyphasic sleep wikipedia article. I'm not trying to do polyphasic sleep but rather enjoy the quick naps that can help. These mp3s, which can be downloaded here polyphasic nap mp3. These are nap soundtracks that start out silent and slowly build to white noise, which is consistent and blocks out nearly all external sound. the track ends by slowly waking you up with various sounds, starting with a few birds clucking or chirping and build until you wake up. They are aimed at various intervals: 5 minute nap, 8 minute, and on up to 26 minutes. The 5 minute track is actually 12 minutes so that it accounts for 5 minutes of actual nap with the beginning and end to bring you in and out. I tried the 5 minute version and it was great. I thought only a couple of minutes had passed. So check em out, load your ipod type device and enjoy that deserved quick rest and rejuvenation.

The second item I want to share is that last night I started Capoeira. Capoeira is a brazillian form of martial arts that is much like a dance, sweeping moves, kicks, it's beautiful. I am so very weak and sore today but it was well worth it. It was an incredible workout and very invigorating. I'll definitely keep doing this as it is clearly giving strenght, exercise, and more confidence. I discovered it a couple of years ago when I wanted to improve my movement and dance skills, primarily for acting. It seemed like this wonderful way to combine several improvements to my life: get in great shape, learn a martial art, become more fluid in movement, become more confident in dance.

That's this week in a nutshell, though things were very tough in the first half of the week it is certainly ending on a high note as I feel happy and at peace. Now off to a wonderful weekend in Napa for Kyla Reid's wedding! Woohoo! Reid Ranch Party!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

back and around and back and around again

The ever lovely Di Di let me know today that she still checks my blog almost daily. SHOCK! So I thought that I ought to actually start putting stuff up here again.

I noticed that I haven't posted since January 24th and oh my holy sheets and giggles so much has happened since then.
briefly:
-went to Brighton and Dublin
-turned 30
-got hired, paid, and acted in a video piece for Google. I have no idea where that piece ended up, maybe nowhere, but I got paid for it and it added to that feeling of being a professional actor.
-and there was much more in the continuing ups and downs of life.

Some new things that I've decided that went on the "life list" which is a list of things I want to do.

-I've decided to actually start doing Capoeira. I had decided a couple of years ago that I wanted to do this because it was physical, a form of martial arts, and incorporated dance (something I felt I needed some help in at the time). I plan to start going either tomorrow or the following week. There's several clubs in the city and many introductory and beginner offerings.
-more exercise in order to get myself in better shape in general, prepare for the physicality of a martial art, being more physically able for my acting and performing.
-write that FUCKING MOVIE. I have such a tough time taking on long projects that I can't see the end of. Because of that I have never finished a full length script. I want to do that, I want to figure out HOW to do that. This year must be the year. I also want to keep reminding myself that nothing ever EVER says you have to be conventional, to make a narrative, to make a story about a crime or something. MAKE WHATEVER STORY YOU LIKE. IT'S YOURS.
-I'm also working on some internal stuff based on how I was feeling a few weeks ago, which was bummed with just a touch of hopeful. The following books and ideas are currently part of it: Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns (started it a few years ago and it really helped, want to pick it up again), No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert A. Glover.

and finally, one of my latest bits of inspiration would have to be Russian posters. This gallery of russian posters on flickr popped up on digg. I went to check it out and it is amazing. Some of the coolest graphic design I have seen. I'm using them as inspiration for some of my DVD projects. Yes YOU dear ROL people and SFDS parents get the added bonus of my attempts at graphic design for your DVD projects. You can see those posters here.

Hey, love ya.